Little Milton walked into the house shortly before noon.

"Milton!" his mother cried, "what are you doing home from school so early?"

"I got the right answer to the question." Beaming with pride, his mother asked, " question was that?"

"Who put the thumbtack on Theresa's chair

"Say," Todd approached his teacher, "you wouldn't punish me for something I didn't do, would you?"

"Why of course not!" she replied. "Good," he sighed, " 'cause I didn't do my book report."

"Ma!" said seven-year-old Annette as sh« walked in the door, "Mr. Dunbar told us how to make babies today!"

The woman looked up from her magazine, the color draining from her face. "H-how?" she asked, tentatively.

"Well, first you drop the y. . . ."

Addressing the Catholic school class, the nun asked, "Is it wrong to have sex before you're married?"

Promiscuous Polly piped up, "Only if you're late for the ceremony."

Dyslexic Devil Worshipper

Drilling her students for a test, the history teacher asked if anyone could recite Washington's farewell address. Little TJ raised his hanal and replied, "Heaven."

Later in the drill the history teacher asked anyone knew where the Declaration of Independence was signed. Little TJ once again raised his hand and replied, "At the bottom."

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for
a living. All the typical answers came up -- businessman, doctor, lawyer,
and so forth.

However, a little boy was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the
teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer
in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they
put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will
go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and then took the little boy aside to ask
him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"Not really," the boy said, "He actually plays cricket for India but I was
too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.

"I don't want to worry you," Peter said to his teacher, "but last night my dad said that if I didn't get better grades on my next report card, someone was going to get a licking."