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food jokes
(Showing 1-10 of 11)
Doctor, said Mrs. GreU

"Doctor," said Mrs. GreU, "are bran flakes really healthy?"

"Well," replied the dim-witted physician, "I've never had to treat one."

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You should learn to be more polite
Q: What side of a peach

Q: What side of a peach is the left one?

A: The uneaten side.

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You should learn to be more polite
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?" Tom: "The smaller piece, of course." Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"
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Doctor, said Mrs. GreU
Then there was the efficiency expert who put Visine in his grapefruit. . . .
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You should learn to be more polite.
Q: Why do watermelons contains

Q: Why do watermelons contains so much water?

A: They're planted in the spring.

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The pharmacist proudly showed

The pharmacist proudly showed Mr. Thompson his newest product. "It's an apple that tastes like pussy."

Curious, Mr. Thompson took a bite; he spat violently. "Pussy? This thing tastes like shit!"

The pharmacist flushed and turned it around. "Sorry," he said, "you bit the wrong side."

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Doctor, said Mrs. GreU
And the shopper who stopped buying

And the shopper who stopped buying Kool-Aid because she couldn't figure out how to get two quarts of water into the envelope.

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Chinese Food Festival
Restaurant Manager: ' Why are you looking worried?' Chef: 'There are lot of ants in soup and other cooked food. I do not know what to do.' Restaurant Manager: ' Don't worry. I will annownce that today we are having Chinese Food festival!'
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Religious airlines

Religious Debate (adult)

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave.

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, could not speak Latin and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.

On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and chalice of wine.

Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and said, "I concede the debate. This man has bested me. The Jews can stay."

Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community crowded around Rabbi Moishe, asking what happened. "Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me, 'You Jews have three days to get out of here.' So I said to him, 'Up yours'. Then he tells me the whole city would be cleared of Jews. So I said to him, 'Listen here Mr. Pope, the Jews ... we stay right here!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Rabbi Moishe. "We broke for lunch."

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Ida confided to her close friend

Ida confided to her close friend, "My cooking left my husband cold."

"He divorced you?"

"No," she replied, "he died."

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