While she was awaiting for the members of her bridge club to arrive, Mrs. Finster accidentally loosed a whopper of a fort. The scent was unmistakable, and, fishing out a can of air freshener, she hurriedly sprayed the room.

Mrs. Jackson arrived minutes later and, sniffing the air as she walked in the front door, she candidly announced, "Christ, Lizzie! It smells like someone shit in a pine treef"

A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

Mr. Youngman was brought to the lounge of the nursing home to await his son. Since he was especially frail, the nurse was never far from his side.

As it happened, at least once every minute the ninety-year-old would tilt slightly to one side; as soon as he did so, the nurse' hurried over and straightened him right up.

Finally Mr. Youngman's son Bob arrived.

"Well, pop," he said, "how're they treating you here?"

He replied, "The food's fine and the accomo-dations are even better—but there is one thing."

"What's that?"

Cocking his eyes over his shoulder, he said, "It's that sonofabitchin' nurse over there. He won't let me fart!"

Each and every time he broke wind, the word honda would flutter from the man's behind. Going to the doctor, he demonstrated this phenomenon which, much to his surprise, didn't foze the doctor in the least.

Going round to the man's mouth, the physician found an abscessed tooth, which he promptly pulled. At once the man's problem was solved.

"That's amazing!" said the patient. "But tell me, how did you know what to do?"

"Simple," answered the doctor. "Everyone knows that abscess makes the fart go 'honda.

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?

A: Rabbit farts.

Q: Why do women break wind after they urinate?

A: They can't shake it, so they blow-dry it.

Norman came in from the field one day and found his mother carefully spreading handful after handful of manure over the watermelon patch.

"Maw," he said, "there's an easier way of doin' that."

So saying, he took a stick of dynamite and, lighting it, tossed it under the outhouse. However, Norman didn't know his great-grandmother was using the facility just then, and when the TNT ignited, it vaporized the outhouse and blew the woman nearly a mile into the air. She landed, with a considerable thud, in the midst of the watermelons.

"Good Lawd," Norman yelled, "are y'all right, great grannie?"

The feisty old woman rose unsteadily. "I reckon I am," she replied. "All I kin say is I'm glad I didn't let that one go in the house!"

Then there was the considerate housewife who served her family beans with curry because she liked Indian music.