|
|
|
Bad corporate slogans |
These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world.
Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"
MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."
Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!"
Iguana: "The other green meat."
Nike: "Just buy the shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"
Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."
Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes!"
Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"
Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"
Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Signs and notices 08 |
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
Sign in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."
Sign in butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."
Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"
Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Signs and notices 05 |
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Real advertisements 03 |
Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Stock up and save. Limit: one.
We build bodies that last a lifetime.
For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Menu item translations |
The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
French fried ships - Cairo
Garlic Coffee - Europe
Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
Boiled Frogfish - Europe
Sweat from the trolley - Europe
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Roasted duck let loose - Poland
Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
Fried friendship - Nepal
Strawberry crap - Japan
Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
Toes with butter and jam - Bali
French Creeps - L.A.
Fried fishermen - Japan
Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
Product Names
Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues
Kolic - Japanese mineral water
Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer
Swine - Chinese chocolates
Libido - Chinese soda
Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink
Shocking - Japanese chewing gum
Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels
Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade
Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent
Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy
Superglans - Netherlands car wax
I'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffee
Zit - Greek soft drink
Colon Plus - Spanish detergent
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Real news headlines 12 |
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
War Dims Hope For Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Real news headlines 11 |
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Signs and notices 15 |
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
Sign in a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: "COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."
Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
Sign at a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
Sign from a translated sentence from a Russian chess book: "A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played."
Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything - gas is!"
Sign on the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Real news headlines 01 |
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
|
Signs and notices 07 |
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on a scientist's door: "Gone fission."
Sign in a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
Sign in a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
Sign in a car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."
Sign in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
|
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
|
|
|
